2015 – The Year That Was

2015 began tumultuously for me with various kafuffles happening at work. It’s really hard to have a boss who does not understand life commitments. I started looking for a new job and Alhamdulilah, I got a pretty good one, one that’s not only near my home but complete with bosses who are way more understanding of life commitments than previously. Such is important particularly when you reach this stage of life.

I also had episodes of ill health starting with the scariest of all – an episode of leptospirosis which sadly landed me in the hospital for practically 2 weeks. I was septic and almost on my death bed, but I guess Alhamdulilah, my umur masih panjang, hence I rebounded to good health again. I have no idea where I had contracted this scary thing, but since then, I’ve been a lot more careful with food especially when eating out.

We brought Harry for a trip to Port Dickson, his very first vacation when he was 6 months old. We had a blast staying at the very beautiful Grand Lexis which is complete with a comfortable 2 king sized bed and a private pool in the villa. He was such a gem, happy and contented to swim and relax.

I became more confident at bringing him around for vacations after Port Dickson, spending a night at the scenic Avani Sepang Goldcoast Resort, 4 nights for a beach vacation in Penang, took him on his first flight to Bandung for a 3 night stay and finally a 3 night stay in Singapore in November to attend my cousin’s wedding.

Harry is actually quite fun to travel with, barring moments when he gets cranky and overwhelmed with the sights and sounds and suddenly needs his Youtube to soothe him (this can get hard overseas when we don’t have WiFi connection). Apart from his off-moments which can get pretty stressful for Zach and I, I really do enjoy vacationing with my darling baby boy. I love showing him things, teaching him the sounds of this and that and letting him just bask in the experience the world has to offer.

We planned a Zoo-themed first birthday for Harry, which was such a fun thing to do. The lead up to his birthday was real fun for me as I do love to plan parties, particularly for people I love and  birthday parties for kids are always a fun thing to plan for. So colourful, so bright, so cheery. Wonder where my imagination will stretch when Harry turns 2, inshaAllah, in 2016.

Zach and I also tried to re-inject the fun and romance into our marriage, which admittedly, has gone slightly downhill, with the pregnancy, birth and caring after Harry, so we planned our little couple escapade to JB recently. It was a nice trip spent for just the two of us which we probably need more of and should plan every now and again so we could just catch up with romance and be just us – husband and wife, instead of mama, papa and the various other roles that we have personally, at work and with our respective families.

I kickstarted the blogging thing again in December to have an avenue, a space to pen my thoughts and feelings, however, I didn’t want the same crap and attention from yesteryears to recur when blogging which should be a passion and a hobby started becoming like work for me. So this is gonna really be about me and what and who I love and absolutely nothing to fulfil anyone’s expectations.

Another episode of ill-health for me also occurred recently when I started having some extreme achiness on my arms and legs and also extreme fatigue so much so that walking and getting out of bed can require significant effort. The Docs say its lupus, but somehow though I think it may be a mild form of an auto-immune thing, I don’t really want to encourage my thought process and mindset in that direction hence I much prefer to think of it as a little stress-related manifestation and slowly just recharge myself towards energy and vitality.

Guess that sort of sums up my 2015 – a year of various challenges particularly in the health and career front but a year full of beautiful memories with my little family.

I Let My Son Watch TV. Don’t Judge Me.

Sometimes I feel like a lousy mum. I allow my 16 month old to watch TV. Sometimes lots of it. But in my defense, I don’t encourage him to watch it. I actually started the TV process to teach him some rhymes etc through all those interesting interactive videos now available. But he loves his rhymes so much that he keeps asking for it, over the TV, over the iPhone, over the iPad. Anything. And when we don’t allow it, when he’s not in a good-i-can-be rational-mood, he cries, no, wails super loudly till our ears hurt. So we give in if all hell breaks loose and we are unable to entertain him any other way.

Sometimes, he just takes the phone or iPad to scroll from one rhyme to the other. Sigh. Think he likes the scrolling motion.

When he’s in a rational mood (as rational as a 16 month old can be), we can actually divert his attention and find other ways to entertain him and get him engrossed in other things, like his toys for example. But when he’s cranky, yea, like I said before, all hell breaks loose.

With all the hoo-ha about how TV’s bad for a baby etc, it compounds my feelings as a lousy mum. Personally, I don’t think TV’s all that bad. It’s not that I don’t interact with Harry at all. I do, lots of it. I teach him lots of stuff and I dare say that on occasion, he has actually learnt quite a bit from the shows he watched. After all, all he’s watching are educational videos.

If you read into the whole hoo-ha it basically says I’m causing irreparable damage to my son and that I risk screwing up his language skills, reading ability, attention span, memory, sleep cycle and chances of being a smart boy. Read bad mum. Do I buy into it? A bit. But at the same time, I haven’t actually seen the harm in it. More often than not, I interact with him whilst he’s watching. I show him this and that. I teach him to pronounce and I mimic the actions.

And it’s not like he’s on it 24/7. Besides, who can entertain a baby for 24 hours? Everyone needs to catch that few minutes of peace and solitude, if anything, just to shower at least. When he’s off the TV or iPhone or iPad, Zach and I as well as Nanny and my parents talk to him, read him books, play with him, so I really do think that part’s taken care of.

Whilst sometimes I feel like a lousy mum, I don’t think its really all that bad if he’s transfixed by the colourful images. His progress has been remarkable, already able to say so many words and dramatize the actions he sees on his videos. He’s also able to do a couple of sign languages to denote what he wants and at 16 months able to sort of communicate quite decently with us. His comprehension skills also seem quite noteworthy.

Yes, this kid is showered with stimulation. Whilst sometimes perhaps too much stimulation, what’s wrong for us to have a little bit of downtime whilst he engages with his videos and try to understand and fit himself in a new world?

So all in, my two cents on it is that I don’t really think some stimulation with the TV or iPad or iPhone is gonna stunt his growth and development. I am witnessing a miraculous development and growth in my son, and I cannot be prouder.

I think that whilst the environment might not be a perfect one with completely no-TV or technology, I think it is a good enough one. 

Two Cents on Paris Art of Hair, The Curve

The treatment I had: Kerastase Premium Hair Treatment and Hair Cut

Duration: 1 hour

Cost: RM188

My Two Cents: Finally had my hair cut after 6 months of growing it. I try to at least schedule in a semi-annual hair cut for myself since any shorter period than that feels like a real waste of time and money. But when I go, I do treat myself to more than just a hair cut. Feel like it’s as good a time as any to pamper my scalp.

I’ve been going to Paris Art of Hair at The Curve for my last three or four hair cuts and have been honestly quite happy with the service. First off, its located at a quiet corner at The Curve, secondly it has a private room which is perfect for a hijab-wearing lady like yours truly. I always, always request for a female hairdresser and they are actually very accommodating to my request.

The salon uses Kerastase products which is awesome and services are impeccable. Love the scalp massage they offer whilst shampooing my hair and post treatment and a few snips here and there, I leave the salon feeling 100% each time. Definitely my go-to hair salon.

Bangkok House Restaurant Review, Sunway Giza

What we ate:

a.    Mixed Platter of fried beancurd, fried fishcakes, spring rolls and chicken parcels;

b.    Chicken Fried Rice;

c.    Rice and Steamed Chicken; and

d.    Pad Thai.

Everything was just delicious. Not my first time at Bangkok House and we certainly ordered more when we first came coz there were more of us there for a family dinner. This time around, it was just a lunch meal for Zach, Harry and I. The mixed platter was nice though a tad oily, but I actually loved my absolutely non-spicy chicken fried rice and Harry’s plate of rice and steamed chicken was great for my little one as well.

What the ambience was like:

Ambience is pleasant and quiet. I chose Bangkok House for lunch that day coz it’s the quietest dining place I know. There aren’t too many people around during lunch time, hence perfect to dine with a one year old in tow. Especially a sleeping one. Initially sleeping anyway. Hehe.

What the price range was like: 

Reasonable with main dishes costing about RM16-RM20.

My Two Cents: 

Bangkok House has an extensive menu, but not quite one suited for the kids. It does have a large selection for lovers of Thai dishes though. Food was quite authentic and tasty, an overall great choice to go to when wanting a quiet family lunch. 

My Long Christmas Weekend

It was a long Christmas weekend for us due to the back-to-back public holiday. Our Thursday was spent chillin’ and relaxing at home, but Friday onwards was quite hectic with family activities of sorts.

Thursday was nice and quiet, just happy and relaxed at home, playing with Lil Harry, who is now showcasing his newfound ability to turn round and round. He’s also running everywhere and is so cheeky and mischievous that I wonder how he’ll be when he hits 2 year old (supposedly labelled the terrible twos) since he’s already a handful at just 1.5 years. Always interesting being around him, life truly is never dull.

On Christmas Day itself we made our way to spend time with my in laws since Harry has not seen them for quite some time. We had packed away Nasi Kerabu and Nasi Dagang from Hayaki for all and then, basically just spent the day over with the family and also helped one of Zach’s aunt whose daughter is getting married next week with some wedding preps.

We thought we’d join my mum and sis at Pavillion but Harry was getting all cranky from lack of sleep and too much excitement and since mum said Pavillion was completely packed to the brim, we decided we’re better off going home. So we spent a quiet evening entertaining Harry with his videos and toys.

For dinner, I made a simple dinner for the boys – just pasta and some airfried chicken. I’m that rajin at cooking, you see. Hehe.

I’m trying to catch up on the whole Star Wars series before I watch Episode 7, but so far have only managed to watch Episode 4 and 5 fully. We’re forever giving in to Harry when he wants to watch his rhymes that we have a backlog of our own tv shows and movies to watch. Haha.

Harry was being all cuddly and malas malas on Saturday so we ended up going out only during lunch time and headed to Rimba and Rusa to give that a try. I did some shopping at Vendville for the upcoming wedding next week then we headed to BSC and Bangsar Village for some window shopping. Finally went into the FV physical store. Wow! A real Chanel-like boutique, very classy looking boutique. I love the Poplook clothes but thought I’ll mull it over first before diving into the purchase.

I’m addicted to foodpanda so we ordered Papparich in for dinner. So convenient this app and since I can’t be bothered cooking that night, foodpanda’s a lifesaver. Hehe.

We pretty much relaxed all of Sunday, watching Spectre in the morning whilst Harry plays and cuddles around and only going out to Giza for a meal at Bangkok House and grocery shopping. Retired for the night at my parents’ house. That pretty much sums up my relaxing Christmas weekend. Hehe.

Rimba and Rusa Restaurant Review, Kota Damansara

Rimba and Rusa is a much raved about restaurant which I’ve been lemming to go to for a while. Finally, over the Christmas weekend, we managed to squeeze in a family lunch there. The ambience’s certainly beautiful and it’s menu equivalently appealing.

There’s a variety of contemporary dishes, a fusion of sorts. I had a Moroccan inspired spring chicken dish whilst Zach had pasta and little Harry had his little chicken porridge. The dessert looks yum as well, but guess we’ll try that on another day considering we’re so, so full from the mains we ordered.

Prices are so-so with most ranging around the >RM25 mark, but the taste and ambience certainly supports the price.

Another family restaurant close to our home that’s something to rave about.

Two Cents on Facial at Top Beaute, Kota Damansara

The treatment I had: Stem Cell Whitening Facial with Decleor products

Duration of the facial: 2 hours

Cost: RM188

My Two Cents: This is my mum’s go-to facial salon, hence my sis and I just sort of decided since we desperately needed a facial done during the long Christmas weekend, we’ll just go for my mum’s salon. My sis is quite familiar with the therapists there as she has been there a few times now. Me, not so much, but a good one to try nevertheless.

The facial routine’s usual, cleanse, exfoliate, extract, serum applied with the infusion machine followed by an incredible face, upper back and hand massage and finally a mask and moisturizing session.

The salon is simple, nothing extraordinary but it does give off that soft relaxing vibe with the softly softly music playing and a warm and comfortable bed. I didn’t feel cold like I normally do at facial salons, so that was a blessing.

The extraction was quite painful for me, but I generally hate extractions so am probably not the best judge for it. But my face does feel all clean post cleansing, scrub and extraction.

A facial for me is a place I go to for that incredibly relaxing facial massage which we cannot do ourselves at home. Hence, that is the critical or defining factor in a facial for me and Top Beaute satisfied that with the therapist’s incredibly deft fingers as she gave me a wonderful relaxing massage.

When I left the facial, my skin looked impressively clear and wasn’t that red despite the painful extraction process I felt. Happy with the after-glow effect and enjoyed the facial session, but for the minor hiccup at the end wherein my time-pressured therapist started to pretty much slap products on my face since her next appointment has arrived.

Random shopping and browsing

I’ve been looking around for a fanciful lot of things lately. I’ve been switching about my finances, making sure deposits are made (I’ve been known to slack off on my savings a number of times), looking for better investment options, look for nice fanciful things to purchase to upgrade my lifestyle and even will writing. Diverse shopping around huh? That’s what happens when your mind’s just boggled with a whole load of stuff.

I was first and foremost committed to not changing my phone this year. I’m still on my Iphone 5 which is admittedly still in perfect condition, hence I did not want to waste money by committing to another 2 year contract when I’ve only just finished finished paying for my Iphone 5 earlier this year. However, I got a bit itchy when I received a text from Maxis detailing their new Zerolution plan which included the Iphone 6s and Iphone 6s Plus. I mean, I love, love, love my Iphone 5, but admittedly, it is rather small, hence my fingers can get a bit numb after too much typing. See, I even have excuses prepared. After days of longing after the Zerolution offer, I finally decided okay, perhaps the phone really isn’t my priority now and money is better spent elsewhere.

Next up, is of course to find a replacement for my ailing Sony Vaio laptop, which sadly is no longer in production. I’ve been using this for 5 years now and it’s really time to change as the sound it makes is downright scary. Seriously, it sounds like an airplane about to take off. I have no idea when it’ll surrender its life but I better start ensuring a replacement is ready. Been mulling over whether I should continue on a normal windows based laptop like a Lenovo or should I upgrade to the Macbook. I don’t quite fancy the Macbook but quite love the Macbook Air and given the good reviews and seemingly better lifetime usage of the Macbook Air, am really leaning towards that.

My Clarisonic facial brush died on me this week. Well, that’s probably the wrong statement. Not this week, but a while back. I have not been charging it for ages coz I have been unable to find the charger since we moved back to Malaysia. Hence, this device which has not been charged for 2 years is basically refusing to start up again. So guess that will be my New Year present for myself, hehe, a new Clarisonic facial brush. Otherwise, whatever am I to do with my four spare Clarisonic brush heads?

So that’s on tangible purchases. Next the intangibles. Been thinking of sending Harry to a preschool and been looking around for a good international preschool. All the Islamic-based ones don’t look too tempting and am thinking that I’ll adopt the international school and send him for Quran classes on the side. Wondering what’s a good age to send him. Harry’s only 17 months old but he seems bored at home already. Amongst options I was looking at were Tweedlewinks, The Children’s House and Julia Gabriel. Must call to find out more in the new year. Don’t think anyone wants to entertain me given the time of the year now.

I am really quite the shopaholic, hence, oftentimes when I have a lump sum amount deposited into my account, if I don’t save it quickly, it gets spent fairly quickly as well. Haha. That’s what has happened to the bonus I received last year. Well, however, I did settle many of my credit card outstandings, hence I did sort of put the money to good use. Anyway, I recently received a lump sum for the sale of our car. Hence, before I could start spending it, I decided to put it aside immediately, so I went to the bank and have since deposited it into my various unit trusts and Tabung Haji account. Even registered for hajj. Feel so proud of myself. Haha.

I have been surfing however for other investment options as well. I sort of do have a diversified portfolio but for some reason lately, have been wondering if what I have is enough for us as a family upon retirement, for Harry’s education etc? So been looking for options, though I daresay I think I’ve exhausted my options. Think if I can just maintain what I’m doing on a regular basis, that’ll be even better. Must follow through on saving goals.

One other aspect of my planning mode is thinking of wasiat writing. So I’ve been surfing around and I think the Maybank Online Will Writing should serve its purpose for me for now. I am gonna go ahead with that sometime soon to ensure my estate and assets will quickly be given out according to my wishes should anything happen to me.

That pretty much sums up my incredibly diversified shopping and browsing experience for the week. Haha.

Mohd Chan Abdullah Restaurant Review, Kota Damansara

I’m not a food blogger and don’t plan on giving a pictorial of everything I ate at any restaurant I go to. Just thought I’ll pen down my two cents on places I ate at, more for my own historical record rather than to serve as review purposes.

I’ve been to Mohd Chan Abdullah Restaurant a number of times now and I absolutely love the dim sum and siew pau there. It’s not easy to find a good halal Chinese restaurant, hence having Mohd Chan Abdullah’s Restaurant so close to us is awesome.

Food’s tasty, portion’s quite large and price is reasonable as well. Ambience is ok, normal kopitiam style. So far the only disappointing experience I’ve had at Mohd Chan Abdullah was when I had taken away Nasi Ayam and was provided with just the chicken without the rice. I thought I was going blind for a second since I could not find the rice pack. That was an amusing experience. Further the chicken wasn’t well cooked, hence, not a dish I’d order again at Mohd Chan Abdullah.

Other than that, other menu I’ve tried which I can rave about (apart from dim sum and siew pau J) are the fried rice, lemon chicken and steam fish.

Overall, certainly a family restaurant I’d go to again and again when craving for halal Chinese food in PJ.

Flashback: My First Pregnancy

Here’s the thing about re-starting blogging. I kinda have bucketloads of ideas to write about and feel like filling in the gaps on all those memories of yesteryears which have not been captured. My flashback moment today’s on my pregnancy. Whilst I was pregnant and completely free of work as I was placed on long medical leave by my Dr, I actually started a blog. Then when I got back to the daily grind of work post maternity leave, I got distracted and ended up not writing for many, many moons, hence I gave that blog up.

Now that I’ve rekindled my blogging interest, I suddenly have the need to fill this blog out with my pregnancy memories. Luckily, I’ve got notes from my diary, which I can sort of populate here.

First trimester:

So just about a week before I found out I was pregnant, I was actually pigging out, like seriously pigging out. I ate loads of food, carbs even, I mean I could finish a whole plate of rice when I’d normally eat half and even ate a three-tiered meat burger all to myself when I normally despise meaty food. That was probably one strong indication to most that something was quite different. Haha.

Then, I got really, really sick (probably from the pig-out) with the flu and whatever else and after about two weeks of missing my period, I decided to do the pee-test and whoa! I was pregnant! I was ecstatic, after all these years of trying and miscarriages etc.

I went about my first trimester perfectly strong and fine. No nausea, no issues with food etc. I was thinking that I was all set for this pregnancy, on to becoming super mummy.

Second trimester:

Then, second trimester happened. I got really, really sick. I kept on having repeated asthma attacks and was basically completely short of breath almost all the time that my Dr. had me placed on a complete medical leave till delivery. I kept on going in and out of hospital and was basically doing all I can to remain healthy and strong for my baby and myself.

I get worried sick each time I have an attack and feared I’d lose the baby. Alhamdulilah, things worked out in my favour and with all the rest I was getting and the yummy food I was eating and awesome medical care by my Drs, I was able to retain the pregnancy.

Every time we had an ultrasound was a magical moment for me. It was awesome to see little bub growing so healthily inside me and hearing that fast heartbeat each time. Truly a moment in time I never ever wish to forget.

Third trimester:

Ah I thought second trimester was challenging. Third was worse for me as not only was I having trouble breathing, I was getting extremely heavy by the day and was really, really exhausted. Bottomline, by my 8^th month, I really couldn’t wait to deliver the baby.

Then at 35 weeks, I started contracting. Went into the hospital convinced I was gonna go into delivery, but turned out baby wasn’t ready to come out yet. The same routine happened every week until finally on Raya Eve, I went in again with full contractions but was unfortunately not dilated enough. Due to the constant contractions, Dr Mei basically said this baby’s coming out whichever way, but it’ll be out by morning.

And so, on Aidilfitri 2014, 28 July 2014, my first-born, my baby boy, Harry, was born at 8.30 am through a Caesarean operation. Alhamdulilah.

Good reminder

I came across this poem and thought it was a fantastic one to keep as a good reminder on how parenting can sometimes be a challenge but at the same time, we must always be cognizant of the fact that the child will grow up and we’ll miss all these times when he/she’s completely dependent on us.

I won’t always cry, Mummy

When you leave the room

And my supermarket tantrums

Will end too soon.

I won’t always wake Daddy

For cuddles through the night

And one day you will miss

Having a chocolate face to wipe.

You won’t always wake to find my foot

Is kicking you out of bed

Or find me sideways on your pillow

Where you want to lay your head.

You won’t always have to carry me

In asleep from the car

Or piggy back me down the road

When my little legs can’t walk that far.

So cherish every cuddle

Remember them all

One day Mummy and Daddy

I won’t be this small.

Learning fast

Harry is only 16 months old and already he’s acting all “grown up”, refusing to eat food specially made and blended for him and wanting to eat what we’re all eating. He goes “food, food” whenever we sit at the dining table and points fervently to the food item and says “oto, oto”. Ahh, why you wanna grow up so fast, darling? Guess blended food just doesn’t cut it anymore for him. He would look so intently at us that we’d feel so guilty not indulging him in a little piece of whatever we’re having, provided that it’s still generally okay for a toddler his age to digest.

At 16 months, he’s learning fast. Catching on to everything we all say and do. It’s amazing how we’d say one thing today and the next day, he’s uttering it. Sometimes to our horror and dismay when he repeats things that we must have accidentally uttered in his presence. Its amazing and shocking at the same time.

He’s also becoming more and more demanding each day, demanding for the iPad or phone to scroll through his nursery rhymes. He seems to like the scrolling action more than the actual watching bit, which annoys all of us, but sometimes it helps to indulge him to have a little quiet moment for us. I tried very hard not to be an iPad mama, but unfortunately, technology won me over and lil Harry was exposed to it even before I could stop the damage, hence the damage is done. Sigh. I figure since he’s watching primarily rhymes and learning stuff, it should be okay since that’s how all kids are learning these days anyway.

16 months and already he’s a charmer. Oh, how I love coming home to him everyday and seeing him run all the way to me to give me a hug just melts me to the core. At times like these I wished I was a stay at home mama and can see every lil interesting thing that he does instead of just hearing it from my parents and Nanny.

Checkout

So I’ve been scrolling Fashion Valet like a gazillion times these week. I feel like shopping, but at the same time, dunno if I’m just wasting money. Since I had Harry, I haven’t really shopped much for myself. I mean, I continue to shop, a lot, but all my purchases are generally for Harry. So now that it’s so near gifting season and my birthday in January, I just feel like indulging myself for a change.

I want new clothes but there’s just so many interesting buys that I don’t know where to start. I even thought of purchasing in piecemeal forms what Vivy’s been wearing these days to, you know, copy her style. But when it came to pressing that checkout button, didn’t go through.

Too much guilt for some reason. Weird for a shopaholic like me. Hehe.

Weekend Retreat to Johor Bahru

We set off early, having left Harry at my parents’ for the weekend. I was an emotional wreck, naturally, since it’s the first vacation away from my baby. Of course, I’ve been away from him before when I went on my short business trips but since that was for work, my mind was occupied. I cannot yet fathom the concept of being in a relaxed state of mind without my baby, but we wanted to give this couple escapade thing a shot and see if a weekend away for just the both of us will do us good.

We managed to drive all the way to Johor without any stops, and arrived at noon nicely. Our first stop, JPO! End of year is definitely a fantastic time to shop for bargains. Coach and Oroton being the best places to shop with practically 70% off normal prices. Awesome, awesome! We were exhausted just from the walk about to discover the stores there.

After an exhausting yet exciting 4 hours of walking about, we made our way to Thistle Hotel. The hotel’s situated close to Danga Bay and is in a quiet corner which was splendid, away from the hustle and bustle of traffic. Hotel is nice though furnishings are a bit dated. After a quick check in, we settled in for a bit, then I went ahead for my hour long massage session at the Thistle Spa. Ahh, a blissful experience I’ve not acquainted myself with for a while. A sensation I’ve completely forgotten.

After my relaxing massage, we decided on dinner at Restoran Singgah Selalu, a 24-hour forever packed and busy restaurant situated on Danga Bay. The food here was awesome. Truly, we were spoilt for choice. The menu’s humongous and the variety’s endless. Definitely a must visit when in JB. I was impressed by the large number of kitchen hands they have, its practically a canteen and they seemed so disciplined and well-structured that its practically like witnessing an army kitchen.

After all that, we were just zonked by the time we got back to the hotel and had a restful, restful sleep.

The next morning, we headed for breakfast at Fresh Restaurant at Thistle bright and early. The spread was limited, but tastes reasonably nice. I thought the Nasi Lemak was quite nice.

We made our way to Legoland, with the excuse to scout the place before bringing Harry with us next round. At only 10 am which is basically opening time, the place was already packed to the  brim and the queue up line was just so horrendously long that we made the decision to forget about Legoland. I was developing a headache just from standing in line and the intense heat, so definitely cannot imagine bringing Harry here, at least not now.

We had no other plans and didn’t want to bore ourselves off at the hotel since the Wi-Fi connection there isn’t the best, we decided to make another trip to JPO. Having mulled over some of those temptations from the day before, we made quite a few purchases at Coach and Oroton. After yet another 4 hours of walking about at JPO, I was truly exhausted from shopping! We went back to the hotel and we both had another round of massage treatments at the spa. Such bliss.

We were so drained that we didn’t even have the energy to drive out for dinner and decided on just a simple dinner at a nearby diner since the hotel’s restaurant described a wait time of more than an hour for ala carte orders.

That was pretty much our retreat, which turned out to be more of a shopping escapade than a relaxing retreat. I must remember to go for islands or serene, calming places where there is no excuse to shop and tire ourselves and force us to just relax and spend time with each other next time around. That said, whilst I was an emotional wreck ball prior to the trip, once we were there, it was actually enriching to spend quality time together, minus the parental guilt and minus the shopping exhaustion - just the two of us, just like before we were Mama and Papa. I guess its true what they say, on occasion, we just have to do some couple things and just be Husband and Wife, to re-connect and rejuvenate the relationship without the kids around. Not something I can get away with all the time, but hoping to at least keep it to a bi-annual or at least an annual tradition. Having full completely undisturbed sleep once or twice a year feels like a must have treat, after this experience. Ah-ma-zing!

Harry was perfectly fine and contented according to my parents, hence, don’t think he missed us that much. Haha. To think I cried buckets and worried endlessly for this one! LOL!

Read: Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead

I’ve been putting effort to ensure that I catch up on a hobby which has been somewhat lost to me since motherhood began. I’ve been putting in time during lunch hour, whenever Harry is asleep and in the wee hours of the morning when I have the house all to myself. A book I finally finished after months of stalling is Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg.

Small parts of this book were, to be frank, quite boring, but some offered great insights into her struggle to balance it all and I can certainly resonate with that. The powerful message in her book that stuck to me was quite clear, women need to be confident, lean in, offer all they can at work, work effectively and efficiently, but when it’s time for you to be home with your family, then put everything down and go home to your kids without the guilt. I was completely honed in on that message.

I myself was a workaholic pre-motherhood. I worked practically 24/7 and only rested on vacation days. Weekends were basically days when I caught up on work not finished throughout the week. But that workaholic-ness in me completely melted the day I delivered my baby. I waved goodbye to being chained to my work desk and ensured that I went home on time each day and every day. Do I feel guilty? Sure, every day till this day. But I know I’ll feel even guiltier if I continue at work when I’ve already given so much of my time to the Company on any given day when I should actually be home to see Harry growing up and learning so much each day.

This strategy pretty much costed me my last job as my last boss simply didn’t understand the need for family time after 5pm. I tendered my resignation when I realized that my goals were no longer aligned with hers and I needed to move on to better things that could give me the work challenges that I wanted but still allowed me to be a proper mum. Alhamdulilah, I was offered a bigger and better position at the Company. Now, I have a job in a Company with people who understands and a somewhat balanced life. Alhamdulilah, I am most thankful to Allah for this opportunity.

There’s two sides of this book. One is on having that confidence to make that choice to having a guilt-free workday and clocking in effective, wholehearted hours and then leaving to have dinner with your kids whilst another side is on having that confidence to be all you can be at work, to not be afraid, to lean in. I embraced all that Sheryl Sandberg wrote about leaning in. “Women need to shift from thinking I’m not ready to do that to thinking I want to do that and I’ll learn by doing it” is basically the reason behind me being in my current job. There are times when I question if I’m ready for this? This quote just reminds me that I may not be ready, I may not be the best at it, but I’ll learn along the way and improve myself. I’m putting in that initiative to scale heights without fear and hope that it pays off along the way. I’m leaning in.

Sheryl continues that it’s a myth for women to think they can have it all. In fact, one has to make a choice and just be happy with those choices made, whether at home or at work. In essence, this book is about the struggles women face to get ahead and that we should really begin to take all those curveballs life throws at us, accept the reality that something has to give, it’s ok to take your foot off the accelerator pedal and choose to lean in or lean back according to the life situation. Life isn’t linear, neither is work.

This whole lean in and lean out will be my new mantra, particularly for 2016 onwards. I want to achieve all that I want to achieve whilst at the same time not sacrifice my family for work. I no longer want to have that guilty feeling when I clock out at 5 pm. I want to be confident, both at work and at home. Just go with the flow. Life is short after all. 

Blogging Compulsion?

I wonder if I should embark on this journey yet again. It’s almost becoming a compulsive disorder. LOL! When I get bored or have a little time on my hands, I start to think of penning it down somewhere. Many a times when I’ve started a blog and somehow that blog dream disintegrates thereafter.

Regardless, here I am on another blogging journey. Gonna go completely anonymous this time around. Just gonna blog about my snippets of life for myself, without pressure of an audience.

I actually have loads to do, at work, at home. But somehow the mind wanders. I can’t concentrate. I’ve worked out my workplan for next year, but I don’t quite have that drive to initiate any form of productive work today. Clearly, I’m procrastinating.

Maybe its coz I’m fasting. Maybe coz I’m excited for my upcoming couple escapade with Zach. Or maybe I’m just stressed, though I don’t quite realize it.

Okay, breaktime over. Back to work now. No room for procrastination. I am telling myself to get back to work. Ta for now!

New Beginnings

I have been blogging since 1999 with various peaks and troughs and all sorts of mishaps in between.

Over the years, the nature of my blogging has evolved with me as a person – from a young and single student to a married woman settling into a new life as a wife. From a person whose interests are very much on myself to a person whose interests now revolves around the wellbeings of my family.

Things have changed. So much. So a whole new blog begins today.