Read: Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead

I’ve been putting effort to ensure that I catch up on a hobby which has been somewhat lost to me since motherhood began. I’ve been putting in time during lunch hour, whenever Harry is asleep and in the wee hours of the morning when I have the house all to myself. A book I finally finished after months of stalling is Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg.

Small parts of this book were, to be frank, quite boring, but some offered great insights into her struggle to balance it all and I can certainly resonate with that. The powerful message in her book that stuck to me was quite clear, women need to be confident, lean in, offer all they can at work, work effectively and efficiently, but when it’s time for you to be home with your family, then put everything down and go home to your kids without the guilt. I was completely honed in on that message.

I myself was a workaholic pre-motherhood. I worked practically 24/7 and only rested on vacation days. Weekends were basically days when I caught up on work not finished throughout the week. But that workaholic-ness in me completely melted the day I delivered my baby. I waved goodbye to being chained to my work desk and ensured that I went home on time each day and every day. Do I feel guilty? Sure, every day till this day. But I know I’ll feel even guiltier if I continue at work when I’ve already given so much of my time to the Company on any given day when I should actually be home to see Harry growing up and learning so much each day.

This strategy pretty much costed me my last job as my last boss simply didn’t understand the need for family time after 5pm. I tendered my resignation when I realized that my goals were no longer aligned with hers and I needed to move on to better things that could give me the work challenges that I wanted but still allowed me to be a proper mum. Alhamdulilah, I was offered a bigger and better position at the Company. Now, I have a job in a Company with people who understands and a somewhat balanced life. Alhamdulilah, I am most thankful to Allah for this opportunity.

There’s two sides of this book. One is on having that confidence to make that choice to having a guilt-free workday and clocking in effective, wholehearted hours and then leaving to have dinner with your kids whilst another side is on having that confidence to be all you can be at work, to not be afraid, to lean in. I embraced all that Sheryl Sandberg wrote about leaning in. “Women need to shift from thinking I’m not ready to do that to thinking I want to do that and I’ll learn by doing it” is basically the reason behind me being in my current job. There are times when I question if I’m ready for this? This quote just reminds me that I may not be ready, I may not be the best at it, but I’ll learn along the way and improve myself. I’m putting in that initiative to scale heights without fear and hope that it pays off along the way. I’m leaning in.

Sheryl continues that it’s a myth for women to think they can have it all. In fact, one has to make a choice and just be happy with those choices made, whether at home or at work. In essence, this book is about the struggles women face to get ahead and that we should really begin to take all those curveballs life throws at us, accept the reality that something has to give, it’s ok to take your foot off the accelerator pedal and choose to lean in or lean back according to the life situation. Life isn’t linear, neither is work.

This whole lean in and lean out will be my new mantra, particularly for 2016 onwards. I want to achieve all that I want to achieve whilst at the same time not sacrifice my family for work. I no longer want to have that guilty feeling when I clock out at 5 pm. I want to be confident, both at work and at home. Just go with the flow. Life is short after all.